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A Summer of Peaks and Valleys

Recommended soundtrack This Must Be the Place (Naive Melody) by Talking Heads. 

I should have known it was going to be a year of ups and downs when I found myself piled into a tiny sedan with five friends in the early morning hours of January 1st singing the lyrics to  Fleetwood Mac’s Landslide aloud together…

Oh, climb a mountain and turn around
And if you see my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well, the landslide will bring it down
And if you see my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well, the landslide will bring it down

It seemed absolutely apropos at that time and space, pulling away from the final night of Dark Star Orchestra, preparing to go back to our real lives after three nights of magic, music and friends. Little did I know it would become the theme song of my 2018, a year of peaks and valleys, figuratively and literally speaking.

There were the regular life ascents and descents – car issues, traffic violations, home improvements, growing flowers,  seeing roommates come and go, and dealing with bats, mice and broken hearts. And then there were the mountains that I never really anticipated climbing – six Adirondack High Peaks to be exact – Wright, Algonquin, Phelps, Gothics, Armstrong and Upper Wolfjaw.

The plans for my first Adirondack excursion were solidified over the winter at a goddess night. During a powerful 24 hours of self-care – yoga, vegan meals, sewing, vision boards and heart-to-hearts – my girlfriend and I hatched a plan. In May, we made it a reality. We headed to the Adirondack Loj to take on our first three peaks and get lost in the woods in the hopes of finding ourselves.

With each boulder we climbed, we became more emboldened. With each step we took, we meditated. With each breath we inhaled, we exhaled gratitude. With each peak we reached, we celebrated our perseverance. We talked as we walked, attempting to make sense of life, realizing neither of us had the answers. Experiencing a new level of sore together, we realized we were so much stronger than we ever imagined.

We were Girl Scout Troop 46.

That’s when I began to realize life is a lot like hiking. You walk for hours, sometimes feeling lost, grasping to rocks, clawing your way to the top where the most incredible view you could ever imagine awaits – only to have to turn around and go all the way back down. I left my first high peaks experience feeling like nothing could bring me down. Then I entered a valley.

Summer began with three carefully thought-out plans for my new side business Cavalier Living – a weekend in Lilydale in July, a sold-out tour of Watkins Glen during a Phish Festival in August, and an-all women’s Adirondack high peaks hike in September.

Lilydale didn’t sell, which I anticipated might happen. It takes years to grow a successful business, everyone knows that! Then came Curveball.  I had 70 people paid in-full to take five tours tours from the Phish’s festival to the nearby Watkins Glen State Park, and a 50 person wait list! This was going to be my big break! But this peak was not meant to be.

To say I was devastated when the festival was canceled due to nearby flooding is an understatement. I spent the next few weeks nursing my wounds and trying to find the motivation to promote the final Cavalier Living cruise of the year -an all-female high peaks hike to celebrate the Fall Equinox in the Adirondacks. Going into the experience, I felt like a miserable failure. I had let myself get so swept up in planning the Phish tours that I had neglected to sell more than two spots on the Adirondack trip.

I began to wonder if I’d veered off trail. 

With questions about my sanity for attempting to start my own business gnawing at the back of my mind, I began the planning for three days in the mountains with three other woman. This was my first experience having to carry in all of my food and equipment, much less planning for three others. On Friday, the four of us set out from the Garden parking lot with nearly 40 pounds on each of our backs, for a three-and-a-half mile hike in to Camp Peggy O’Brien for three days of tranquility, soul-searching and one foot-in-front-of-the-other therapy.

Any of the doubts that had built up in my mind about my ability and desire to continue planning group excursions were wiped from my mind as we scrambled up slides, ascended three alpine mountains, helped one another overcome fears and vulnerabilities, reflected on what we hoped to shed, and set intentions for what we wanted to take away from the experience. It was better than I ever could have imagined. I learned about myself through the experiences and stories of the women I climbed with.

We carried each other.

As we all hiked out that Sunday, we were quiet, submersed in our own thoughts. Over the hill came a woman in her late-60s from what I could surmise. Around her neck she wore a set of Mardi Gras beads announcing ‘Happy Birthday.’ They stood out to me and I asked her if she was celebrating hers.

“No, but the next woman about to come over the hill is,” she replied.

A woman with a ‘Happy Birthday’ crown crested the trail, followed by two more women, all sporting older-style external frame backpacks, one a guitar on her back. They paused and the four of them began telling us their story of hiking into the high peaks region to spend time together in nature for nearly 30 years. Ranging in age from 60 to 70, two had traveled all the way from Washington State. As we compared gear and the amount of weight we had carried, the elder four women proudly exclaimed…

“We were girl scouts.”

We continued on our way out while the birthday crew continued their way deeper into the woods. We half-heatedly joked among ourselves about heading back in rather than out. Something about cheeseburgers garnered some laughs, but I was holding back tears of joy and gratitude. The universe truly has a way of giving you signs if you’re listening.

Over 40,000 steps and 20 miles later, we returned to the Garden parking lot empowered, inspired, with lighter backpacks and hearts and plenty of inside jokes. Thirty-six hours in the woods, three peaks behind us, I felt ready for whatever the next valley had in store.

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Helping Phriendly Tour Guide

If you go to Phish’s Curveball Festival and don’t visit nearby Watkins Glen State Park, you’re missing out! Known for its natural beauty, the Park features a series of waterfalls and gorges that are said to be one of the scenic in the Finger Lakes Region! Join Cavalier Living for a guided two-mile hike past 19 waterfalls and over 800 stone steps.

We’re running four 14-person trips – two on Friday, August 17 and two on Sunday, August 19 – from the concert site to the State Park including shuttle service and a guided hike. The morning shuttles will meet at 10:00 am (departing from lot no later than 10:30 am), returning to lot by 1:00 p.m. An afternoon shuttle will meet on lot at 1:00 pm (departing no later than 1:30 pm), returning to lot by 4:00 pm.

Upon arriving at the park, your tour guide Eric Anderson will be waiting to guide you on a hike of the lower gorge trail and get you back to the shuttle in a timely fashion. A total of $45 per person includes the ride, snacks, bottled water, admission to the State Park and a guided tour of the Glen.

Based on logistics, we will be announcing the exact pick-up spot to those registered for this trip closer to the date of the actual festival. The full $45 per person will be collected the week of August 6-12. If all four tours do not sell out, the excursion will be canceled and all money will be refunded in full.

Your trip is short. Take a break from the scene to check out the local scenery!  

About Watkins Glen

Carved into the escarpment at the southern end of Seneca Lake (the deepest of the Finger Lakes), this hanging valley is the oldest and most renowned State Park in the Finger Lakes region. Visitors can enjoy  a variety of naturally-occurring waterfalls, including small staircase, dripping curtains, punchbowls, plunges and shoots. Experience waterfalls up to 60 feet tall and limestone cliffs towering over 200 feet high.

 

Visitors embarking upon the lower gorge trail will be immersed in a world of natural stone, calming flowing water and gentle breezes (no guarantees on the breeze), starting with a dark, spiraling tunnel cut into the cliff-side. The temperature drop and refreshing splash from waterfalls are sure to invigorate you as you enjoy the beauty of  Glen Cathedral, Baptismal Font, the 60-foot tall Central Cascade, Glen of Pools, Rainbow Falls and Triple Cascade.

About your Cruise Director:

Amy Cavalier is a full-time communications and marketing professional. Ever since writing “Twenty Years Lost and Found at the Garden,” she’s been working on finding ways to bring the joy she experiences through live music into her everyday life. As leader of the Rochester Minimalists and a proponent of the Buy Nothing Project, she is working to help people explore what truly brings value to their lives and discover the power of community. She has recently launched Cavalier Living, a business dedicated to officiating weddings, and planning unforgettable events, camping trips and excursions.

About your Tour Guide:

Proprietor of Colors and Colors, a Rochester-based painting company, Eric Anderson is the quintessential outdoorsman. He is an avid sailor, runner and music enthusiast. If anyone is capable of keeping 14 wooks in line, on schedule all while having a blast, it’s him!

Amy and Eric are natives of the area and have been close friends for over 15 years! Let them help you take your festival experience to the next level with this unique opportunity!

Contact Amy Cavalier at amycavalier@hotmail.com for questions or to reserve your spot today!

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Cheaper than therapy

Suggested soundtrack Yacht Rock

“Do you like pina coladas? And getting caught in the rain? If you’re not into yoga. If you have half a brain.”

You can probably finish the chorus to the famous Jimmy Buffet song “Escape.” But have you ever really listened to the lyrics? Do you know what the song is actually about? That was a question we pondered while listening to yacht rock at a recent wine and food pairing night.

What began over five years ago under the premise of getting together to pair delicious food and spirits has evolved into an incredibly powerful sisterhood. While the line-up has changed over the years, the end goal remains the same – women gathering together to support one another through life, relationships, motherhood, careers and the state of the world. The food and wine have now taken a backseat to the laughs, tears, personal growth and dance parties we’ve shared.

In addition to feeding our soul, wine and food pairing is also a reason to channel our inner Julia Child. This month’s offerings included pantry pasta, homemade ricotta (see recipe below), charred bread and Gugliemos sauce, spicy miso ginger carrot dip, roasted grape, ricotta, thyme toast and a platter of delicious treats I’ve termed the “goddess platter.”

This version of the goddess platter consisted of avocado with hemp seeds, pomegranate seeds, clementine wedges marinated in olive oil, salt and pepper, figs and pistachios drizzled with balsamic glaze, apples and almond butter, avocados, aged salami and Jarlsburg cheese.  I also brought Wegman’s Dark Chocolate with Sea Salt Toffee and some Cavalier chocolate, which does not include any added sugar.

For wine, we pulled together a San Gaetano Pimitivo Di Manduria, a Chateau St. Michele 2014 Cabernet Sauvignon and 2016 Pinot Gris, a 2013 Alerna Rosso Veronese, and a Conde Villa Vinho Verde.

And PS – “Escape” is about a couple who discovers they have lost their “spark” through an incident with a personal ad.

For the ricotta:

7 cups whole milk

1 cup heavy cream

2 tbsp fresh lemon juice and 3 tbsp of white vinegar combined

Simmer milk and heavy cream with a pinch of kosher salt over medium low heat…..(20 minutes until it reaches 190 degrees) stir in half lemon and vinegar for 25 seconds, remove from heat and cover for 20 minutes. Stir in remaining lemon/vinegar. Pour into moist, double layered cheese cloth (probably best to hang over a sink )for twenty minutes. The longer it hangs, the more firm of a ricotta it becomes.

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Bury My Heart at Delfest

Anyone who loves live music has their “favorite festival.” In the eight plus years I’ve known him, my friend Brad has regaled me with stories about the magic and beauty of his hands-down favorite music festival – Delfest. Held on Memorial Day weekend in Cumberland, Maryland for the past ten years, it’s hosted by the bluegrass legend Del McCoury. For five years I would brush off Brad’s insistence that I go to Delfest. Then, in 2013, he threw me a curve ball. Brad offered to buy my ticket. Seeing that Phish wasn’t planning to tour that early in the summer, I agreed to go.

I really didn’t know much about Del McCoury going into my first Delfest. My appreciation of bluegrass was limited to a few Railroad Earth and Infamous String Duster shows. My excitement was mainly focused on seeing Brad and some of the other friends I hadn’t seen since moving out of Blacksburg, Virginia in 2009. When the line-up was announced, to my delight the Trey Anastasio Band, the band of the guitarist of Phish, was part of it (though probably not to the delight of most die-hard Delfest/bluegrass fans).

Reunited after five years!

As the festival date drew near, some of my friends from New York and even Ohio decided to jump on board. Six of us made our way to Cumberland, Maryland for Delfest V! I arrived late the first night and was elated to get the biggest welcoming hug from Brad and his southern crew!

A backdrop so pretty it seems PhotoShopped!

When I woke in the morning and unzipped my tent, I gasped at the view before me. Towering above me was a large cliff face carved out of the Potomac river covered in lush greenery so beautiful it looked like the fake backdrop in a school photo. I stepped out of my tent, breathed in the fresh Maryland mountain air and began my love affair with Delfest.

It’s hard to put your finger on what makes this festival rise above the rest, but I will attempt to do it justice. Something about the gorgeous setting just feels like hallowed ground. We spend our days floating on the river from the campsite to the main stage listening to the music resonate off the canyon wall.

On my first year, Delfest V, when the full moon peaked over the cliff, Trey insisted the lights be dimmed so we could all howl at the moon! And while I’ve never been on the stage, I’m pretty sure the view has to be one of the most incredible that a musician gets the honor of playing.

It’s a festival for all ages! By day, kids outnumber adults at the Grand Stand stage. In the evenings, the volume gets turned up, but being it’s a family friendly festival, the late night shows are indoors. Only acoustic music is allowed in the campgrounds after midnight, so the kiddos and early-risers can sleep somewhat soundly (it’s a music festival after all) and the rebel rousers can rage until the break of day!

Let’s not forget Del himself. He is the pièce de résistance with his one-of-a-kind voice and incredible musical talent, to his amazingly talented family and his ability to bring some of the best musicians in the industry onto one stage, sometimes all at once! The minute his crooning voice hit my ears, I knew I wanted Del to “marry my grandma and be my grandpa” as I’ve come to say! With well-coifed hair and sharp attire, he is the epitome of bluegrass and one of the most reverent and revered American musicians. If you don’t know who he is yet, you should.

Delfest  is a family affair. Headliners include the Del McCoury band as well as Del’s sons Ronnie and Rob McCoury’s band the Traveling McCoury’s. Also on the docket is McCoury’s granson Evan’s band The Broomestix. And last year, the tiniest McCoury musician, Vassar McCoury stole the stage!

Who would have ever guessed they would make such a small stand-up bass?

The music at Delfest is absolutely top-notch. I’ve gained an entirely new appreciation for the versatility and complexity of bluegrass. And I’ve had some of the most spiritual musical experiences of my life at Delfest, including hearing the Traveling McCoury’s play this haunting version of the Grateful Dead’s Loser.

Here are some other reasons why Delfest is the bees knees…

  • You know it’s a good festival when you’re decision on whether or not to attend only partially hinges on the line-up. DELuxe (VIP) pass holders have to purchase their tickets before the line-up is announced. And this year, it sold out in two days!
  • You know it’s a good festival when your crew packs a meat smoker and keeps it smoking all weekend long.

  • You know it’s a good festival when your face hurts from smiling so hard.
  • You know it’s a good festival when you walk out of the late night show to the stars being extinguished one by one as the early light of morning begins to rise over the cliff. You drag your weary dancing bones back to your tent, happily exhausted. As you fall asleep, you hear the sweet  soft sounds of acoustic bluegrass coming from the hollow in the woods nearby from the musicians who couldn’t bear to go to sleep yet.
  •  You know it’s a good festival when you can sleep in until past noon because the sun isn’t bearing down on you because it’s not the middle of August.

From the moment the doves are released signifying the start of each year’s festival to the final notes are played on the late night stage, Delfest is a class act, full-on musical and spiritual experience everyone needs to check out at least once in their life. Each year, as I drive away, I leave a huge piece of my heart at Delfest.

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Japanese Trash Talk with the Marciano’s

Suggested soundtrack Turning Japanese by The Vapors.

While browsing Facebook, I stumbled upon a post by a friend Gabe Marciano who has been living in Nagoya, Japan for the past 20 months about the fact that he couldn’t purchase a coffee at McDonald’s because it came in a Styrofoam cup, which he would have to pay to recycle. My interest was piqued.

As time went on, he began to reveal more about what sounded like a very intricate and complex recycling system which he and his family had to contend with. For Earth Day, I decided to ask him to describe the trash system in Japan. Naturally, he said, I needed to talk to Elizabeth, his wife and also a friend of mine, who was charged with handling the trash-sorting duties. I loved her explanation and style of writing so much that I had to use it almost verbatim, making changes solely for clarity’s sake.

Please join me in welcoming the Marciano’s back to America, where I’m confident they will have the most well-sorted trash on their block. And after you read this, you’ll never complain about the American’s version of recycling every again.

I give you “Japanese Trash Talk” By Elizabeth Marciano.

Japan has a complicated trash disposal system. I have a bachelor’s degree, and my trash has been returned twice. It is worth noting that while even some Japanese believe the system is ridiculous, mistakes are embarrassing from a cultural standpoint. You are not only shaming yourself, but also the people you live near. Which is inconsiderate, and should be avoided at all costs.

So yes, mistakes were made and my garbage was returned, meaning I shamed my neighbors shortly after arriving. These returns occurred after the initial three weeks of storing garbage in our house like hoarders because the sorting was so complicated. You can’t imagine what a bold statement that is until you know what garbage smells like two days after baby poop has been deposited.

Moving on…your trash is sorted according to the ku, or neighborhood you live in, which is part of the shi, or city, and that is a part of your prefecture, which could be compared to a state. THIS seems unimportant, but skip that info and you’ll do something crazy, like hoard garbage for three weeks straight or get yours returned.

Basics:

  • Garbage bags have colored labels, and the colors means something. The colors are also different based on what ku (see above) and shi (see above, again) you live in. In my ku, our setup is as follows:
  • Burnable goes into a clear bag with a red label. The clear is important because when you try to toss out the wrong item (and you will), your neighbors can leave you notes to help you not make such an embarrassing mistake again (and they do).
  • After label removal (where possible) and a thorough washing, cans go into a clear bag with a green label.
  • The PET plastic bottles are disposed into a clear bag with a blue label, after their lids are put in the red bin and they’ve been rinsed. Other plastic bottles are burnable and therefore go into the red label bag.
  • There are matching cans which can be purchased to coordinate with the bags if you need a reminder.


Advanced:

  • “Burnable” has very specific guidelines. It might be argued that at the right temperature, nearly everything is burnable. I’m not disputing the validity of that statement, nor am I disputing the science behind it. I am, however, telling you that if you put something Japan says is not burnable in the burnables bag, because you think you know science, your garbage will be returned. Because, no.
  • To assist with this, you can find a printable version of a cheat sheet which corresponds with your ku’s list of acceptable items for each bag color. There is also a list of prohibited items. For the items prohibited from disposal via the initial three bag system, there are additional bags, with different pickup days (to be covered later).
  • If your item is not approved for those days, you may purchase a sticker from your local konbini (convenient store), attach it to said item, and schedule a pickup with your local removal service.

Scheduling:

  • Burnable garbage is collected twice per week in my neighborhood (Tuesdays and Fridays).
  • Recycling (comprised of the green and blue bag items, plus your glass with labels removed and bottles washed) can be taken once per week to a specified location. It must be taken between certain hours, and if you miss the time slot, you must wait until the next scheduled drop-off or drive to designated drop-off spots.
  • The prohibited items, after placed in the correct bag, may be placed in front of your house to be picked up via truck the third Wednesday of every month.

Note: If your item does not fit in the bag, you must purchase a sticker and arrange pick up.

Further note: Cardboard has a separate date from all of these. Let me guess, you thought it was burnable? #Newbs

Also important to note that the garbage trucks run at a specific time, however, that time might change, and if it does, you will receive no notice, which could result in your garbage being picked at, by crows, instead of up, by the removal service.

Crows: Someone said, “It’s a dog-eat-dog world out there.” Maybe it is. In Japan, it’s a crow-eat-trash world. And the crows are not alone. They send scouts. This is not a joke. They will watch and wait. Also, they evaluate your trash because they have phenomenal vision. Which means that if you don’t put out anything they find omoshiroi (interesting), you’re safe. Otherwise, you might find yourself picking up pieces of toilet paper, diaper, and Thursday’s leftovers.

Good news, there are about a million methods employed to prevent the crows from their dark mission. Bad news, most of these are totally bogus. Local stores sell poison, but if you’re not looking to carry out a death sentence, you are going to spend months, or years, in trial and error. Trust me. Currently, we have a net and a bungee cord, which allows us to make a trash sack we can suspend from a piece of concrete in front of our house.

Neighbors: This one is tricky. In Japan, if you do not look Japanese (and note I did not use the word Asian. That word is considered offensive by a lot of folks here because it implies that everyone in Asia looks the same. They don’t.), you are gaijin (a foreigner) and expected to ruin most things until you prove you don’t. This can be difficult because the language barrier prevents you from figuring out what you’ve messed up, and additionally, many folks will simply maintain the belief that as a gaijin you cannot evolve. At any rate, your neighbors will inspect your garbage if you are gaijin. Take offense or not, they do it.

And if you live in a neighborhood with particularly dedicated waste disposers, your incorrect bag will be separated, and placed pretty much on top of your door. Sometimes you will get a note. Other times, they will knock at your door, cut open your bag, and remove the item (if they are really trying to be helpful or think you are really incompetent) while pointing at it and explaining in Japanese. Your job at this point is to bow low, apologize in Japanese, and try not to embarrass your neighbors again.

Some areas have more involved systems than others. Mine is average. One town in Japan is actually able to recycle nearly all of its waste, and taking the garbage out is an all day event. So, congratulations on completing your basic Japanese garbage tutorial.

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Think Globally, Act Locally

The sight of the silhouette of the moon gazing at the rising sun in the early morning sky on my drive to work brings me to tears. I am in pure awe of the beauty of our planet, this little ecosystem which provides us with everything we need to survive, from food and supplies to create shelter to  the ingredients for medicines that do everything from cure serious diseases to supplement our diets.

It also brings me to tears to see the way people are treating this planet as if we’ve got another one to live on once this one is gone. We’ve taken our planet and turned it against itself. Our culture seems obsessed with excess, convenience and convinced that somehow there are no consequences to our throw-away lifestyle. Our mindset that we should never have to go without or experience any discomfort means that we can’t possibly give up the luxury of drinking from a straw – a toxic piece of plastic that is often not recyclable and won’t break down for 200 years. Over 500,000,000 plastic straws are used in America each day according to the Plastic Pollution Coalition.

In American, recycling is seen as optional, not mandatory. And the fast, disposable, cheap fashion industry which used to have four seasons now has 11 to 15, resulting in deplorable working conditions, an erosion of workers rights in third world countries, not to mention the 10.5 millions of tons of unwanted clothing which winds up in the landfill every year.

These days, I’m beginning to understand more and more why the Native Americans chose to co-existing with the planet, rather than treating it as if it exists simply for our pleasure. I am doing the best to do my part by recycling and hopefully composting soon, by pursuing and raising awareness about a minimalist lifestyle, and by making the conscious choice to not have children.

Turns out, I’m not alone. Rob Greenfield, an environmental advocate, feels so strongly about not having children that he had a vasectomy at the age of 25 years-old. Greenfield has also ridden his bike across America twice on a bamboo bicycle to promote sustainability and earth-friendly living. He’s dived into over two thousand dumpsters across America to highlight the fact that nearly half of all food in the U.S. is wasted. He lived in a small house for one year, after which he auctioned it off to raise $10,000 to build 10 tiny houses for the homeless. And he most recently wore his trash for 30 days in New York City to bring awareness to the fact that the average American creates 4.5 pounds of trash PER DAY! He’s a great person to follow to keep inspired to reduce your environmental footprint and live frugally.

You don’t have to act globally, dive into dumpsters, give away all your possessions or get a vasectomy to make a difference though (unless those things resonate with you). Take advantage of some local resources and businesses aimed at reducing the amount of materials that go into our landfill and to encouraging sharing!

  • Turn in your scrap metal for cash at Metalico.
  • Recycle everything from old televisions, refrigerators, flags, pharmaceuticals and household hazardous waste (by appointment only) at the Monroe County Eco Park.
  • Purchase recycled and donated tools from the Tool Thrift Shop in Fairport.
  • Stop into Greenovations, a warehouse chock-full of treasures which is focused on waste diversion through selling of previously owned objects or materials, creative reuse, donating and community education.
  • Need a new bike this summer? Stop by R Community Bikes, a nonprofit staffed entirely by volunteers that collects and repairs used bicycles for distribution, free of charge, to the Rochester’s most needy children and adults.
  • Live in the Beechwood/Homestead Heights/Culver-Winton neighborhoods? Join our hyper-local, adult-only, gift-based Facebook Community and discover the power of sharing! The Park Avenue area also has a Buy Nothing community. And we’re always looking for administrators to help form Buy Nothing Projects in their neighborhoods across Monroe County.
  • Join the Rochester Minimalists, a local group of like-minded individuals looking to share ideas, practice minimalism, and have a positive impact on each other
    as well as the environment. We have a very active and inspirational Facebook community and we meet once a month to  discuss everything and anything related to minimalism.
    In May we’ll discuss “Reducing Food Waste Through Composting” and in June we’ll tour the Eco Park
  • Get rid of your unwanted items at the Free-For-All Yard Sale/Freecycle event on Sunday, June 18 to be held at Greenovations by the Rochester Minimalists and the Beechwood/Homestead Heights/Culver-Winton Buy Nothing Group.

And Celebrate Mother Earth this weekend with some of these events locally:

Join me Saturday from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. at the Central Library of Rochester and Monroe County’s Life Hack-A-Thon: A How-To Festival where I’ll be teaching people how to repair window screens.

Celebrate the grand re-opening of Abundance Cooperative Market in Rochester’s Southwedge with the reopening the Rochester Earth Day Parade and  ROCWorthy Earth Day Festival

Enjoy a Healing Sound Bath to honor yourself and the Earth Saturday night at 7 p.m. with and intimate, guided meditation with Nicole deViere of Yoga DrishTi Community Wellness and healing soundscapes by Joseph Schmidlin.

Do you know of any other local Earth Day celebrations or environmental resources in our community which I’m missing?

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Not Sorry for Partying

Bald with pierced ears

That’s when it all began. At least for me.

Fast forward 40 years and nearly 200 Phish shows. Is time moving faster or is does it just seem like there is less of it left for me? Birthdays are always a reason to pause and take stock of where you’ve been and where you are going. Forty is one of those milestone ages that everyone expects will make you feel different in some way or another…one of those ages you say with an inflection in your voice…like “can you believe it? I’m 40?”

I don’t feel 40. But what exactly does 40 look like or feel like? As cliche as it sounds, the old adage that it’s not about how old you are, but how old you feel is a reality. Truth be told, physically I feel the healthiest I’ve been in my entire life. Mentally and emotionally though, I realize the more I think I know, the less I actually know.

Taken 20 years apart

In typical cavalier-fashion though, here’s a bit of advice I can’t help but share based on the life in my years:

#NeverStopPlaying 

Don’t exercise to stay in shape. Stay active so your body, mind, soul and imagination don’t shrivel up and die. Maybe this means taking a walk on your lunch break or swimming laps with a friend after work. Maybe it means checking out Adult Skate Night at Horizons Fun FX on Thursday nights in the winters. Maybe it means trying a new sport  or pumping up those bike tires so you can join my bike gang for Lilac Festival and Party in the Park this summer under the moon and stars, feeling quite like a little girl who’s missed her curfew. Whatever it is, never stop playing.

#Sorry #NotSorry

This is in no way shape or form an excuse to be mean, spiteful, vengeful, snarky or even sarcastic. Follow the golden rule. Treat others as you expect to be treated. The same goes for you. Treat yourself like you want others to treat you. Learning to love myself rather than finding my confidence in being loved by others has been one of the biggest lessons up until this point in my life. I’m a people-pleaser at heart, but I’ve also learned the importance of being selfish and learning how to decide if something is a full YES or just a maybe before I commit to it. The next step is learning how not to feel bad for saying no or learning how to not feel a sense of FOMO when you aren’t included in everyone’s plans all the time. I’m still working on not holding grudges and not being sorry.

#ChangeItUp

Don’t be afraid to step outside of your comfort zone. The best things happen when you aren’t afraid to change it up and let go of control. In the past 40 years, I’ve found the only constant in life is change. There’s nothing wrong with being comfortable, but don’t let it prevent you from meeting a new person every single day, from questioning the preconceived notions you might have, or even just deciding to get rid of all of your belongings and follow your passion wherever it may lead.

#GiveBack

About two years ago, I discovered minimalism. Once I was able to clear the physical clutter in my life, I found myself yearing for a way to make a bigger impact on the world. I decided to sign up to lead the Rochester Minimalists community, which led to me helping to form a hyper-local, gift-based Buy Nothing community in my neighborhood. As a result of that, my world has been opened up to the power of community, the thrill of living with less by sharing with others, and suddenly, the world feels a whole lot smaller. I’ve learned is that sometimes we need to set our sights on the smaller picture and remember that making a difference in one person’s world is making a difference in the
world.

#NotSorryForPartying

Welcome to my 40th  Birthday Tour if you will…something that conjures up memories of Sesame Street’s “Here’s Your Life” with Guy Smiley. The goal is to celebrate with as many of the amazing people who have inspired me, supported me and been part of this amazing journey so far!

Last weekend, my friends and family spoiled me with two parties. Saturday night included a get-together at the VFW with friends and family. We enjoyed the best wings in the city of Oswego along with a selection of three different wing sauces, made by the VFW, two sheet pizzas from Pizza Villa, a cake with an image of me and my old dog Lucy on it, songs from my generation on the juke box, pool, dancing and singing!

The fun continued Sunday with a party with my mother’s family at Battle Island golf course, catered by Kristen’s Kitchen. We enjoyed a delicious lunch buffet in a beautiful room with cathedral ceilings, exposed wood beams and plenty of natural lighting. Just when I thought things couldn’t possibly get any sweeter, we cut the Phish-themed cake with my favorite buttercream frosting from Cake’s Galore.

This weekend, I’ve invited my friends to start their weekend off right by joining me for my regular Saturday morning yoga class with my best friend, roommate and yoga teacher Nicole deViere at Yoga DrishTi, followed by bowling at L&M Lanes right down the street at 7:30 p.m. that evening!

Next weekend, the festivities wrap up in Buffalo with some pre-gaming at McGarrett’s before DeadPhish Orchestra at the Tralf followed by the Phish Tribute “Dinner and A Movie” at the Dinosaur BBQ.

In addition, instead of presents, I’ve asked my friends to commit a Random (or not so random) Act of Kindness. This idea  is a joint effort with one of my most longtime friends (notice I didn’t say old) Lindsay Conley to celebrate our 40th birthdays which are just one week apart. So far, the campaign has been really inspiring with friends doing everything from picking up trash, buying someone hamburger rolls and even renewing their yoga practice by supporting local studio Yoga DrishTi!

What’s the point of me sharing all of this? My hope is that you will not be ashamed to celebrate where you’ve been, how far you’ve come, and who you are today! You don’t even need to have a birthday to find an excuse to just get out and enjoy life with those you love! Live large! Don’t apologize. Find your truth and tell it.